Tuesday, April 22, 2014

True Tori: Season Premiere

True Tori has hit the airwaves on the Lifetime network. It begins with Tori getting ready to pick up Dean from his stint in rehab for sex addiction. Filming began April 1st and the show premiered on April 22. This woman has a story to tell, and I think the plan is to make her look good and make Dean look bad. The next part of the episode flashed back to when Dean was in rehab, but not yet ready to leave.

Tori Spelling opened the episode by saying that she and Dean have been married for seven years and she doesn't know how to feel about bringing him back from rehab - she misses him but of course feels betrayed. She said she felt like they had a fairy tale life and it all got ruined in a moment. Keep in mind that Tori and Dean met while cheating on their spouses, but I guess she thought that he wouldn't cheat on her.

When Tori confronted Dean about his cheating, he denied it, but she could tell from his body language that he was lying. Tori told him the mistress' name (she'd learned it from her publicist), and Dean admitted seeing Emily, but said they'd just kissed. Tori, again, knew this was a lie. And that a week after that discussion, Emily's story would hit a tabloid. Eventually, Dean told Tori the whole story. She didn't want to cry because that would show how hurt she was. Dean immediately went into treatment for his problem.

Tori told the camera that she knows Dean is the love of her life, but he also broke her heart.

The next section of the show featured Tori meeting with some friends. Nothing of consequence occurred until Tori received a text from Dean stating that he's having trouble looking at someone whose name we don't learn. Tori and her friends tried to figure out what it meant. Tori said there's no way Dean can have sex with someone while in rehab, but her friends insisted that she's too trusting.

Later, we got more details - the text was meant for someone else. It seemed innocent enough, in Tori's mind, but she's on high alert.

Tori went to visit Dean, who didn't look like he was doing too well. We found out that Dean was suffering from things like depression and addiction, and had created an alter ego for himself named Deano. Dean said he was done lying, and admitted that he cheated and lied to Tori. Tori and Dean discussed the patterns Dean has had throughout their marriage that bothered Tori, showing us that their 'perfect' marriage was all a facade. Still, Dean said that he missed his family and wanted to come home. They talked on and on for a while, and it kind of droned until I couldn't pay attention any longer.

After talking about hurt she was, Tori said she had to go and pick up her kids. Tori was conflicted - she wanted Dean to come home to help her with the kids, but she didn't feel they were ready to be together again.

Tori talked to her friends about her meeting with Dean, and they all seemed to agree that he did her wrong. Tori said she felt stuck and she doesn't know what to do - she doesn't want to raise four kids alone. Some tears were shed, and Tori told the confessional how she'd allowed herself to love Dean unconditionally, but the future is in question.

My verdict on True Tori is that it's not that interesting. We do get to see raw emotion, but the show is full of fillers and is basically a sob story for Tori Spelling. I can't imagine that it'll get better as the season progresses.

Friday, April 18, 2014

FOX Has Done It Again: I Wanna Marry Harry

Prince Harry can have his choice of women. And judging from the partying we've seen from him, he takes advantage of his opportunities. But that's kept as quiet as possible because the royal family has an image to protect.

So when FOX, an American network, presented the idea of Prince Harry being on a reality show, people should have really thought twice about it being real. I guess the idea of marrying a prince and being famous tends to cloud people's judgment.

So, here's the premise of the show, at least from what I can see in the promo. Some American girls meet "Prince Harry" and compete for his love. And if the clips portray what I think they're supposed to portray, some of the girls are pretty devastated when they find out that they're dating some random guy, not a royal prince. Although one does make a good quote, saying something like, "Prince Harry, Harry Potter, it doesn't matter!"

My point is this - why would Prince Harry find a woman to marry on a reality show? In what world would the royal family allow it? And, if Prince Harry were to marry a woman he met on TV, why would he only choose American girls and film the show for an American network? The whole thing is too good to be true...and these girls must have signed some kind of contract that gave at least a little indication that things may not be what they seem.

The promo video is below. You can make your own judgment, but it seems to me that these girls believe that they're actually dating Prince Harry.


Thursday, April 17, 2014

Karma's a B****, or Maybe It's Just Tori Spelling (Although Both Are Justified)

You know how Tori Spelling got a reality show shortly after word got out that her husband was cheating on her? Apparently her intentions weren't clean. Not that we ever thought that they were, or that the cheating is surprising given that Tori and Dean met while cheating on their significant others, but whatever.

The Lifetime show will air only three weeks after taping began, which shows that Tori Spelling is trying to get the word out there about what she's going through. Her goal is to make Dean McDermott suffer the humiliation that she did.

The show will detail McDermott's return to the couple's home after his return from rehab for sex addiction. And Tori knows that Dean will have to be on his best behavior the whole time if she doesn't want to lose his wife, or technically, his meal ticket. Tori doesn't consider the pair reconciled, and I bet she's hoping that Dean's bad side will be portrayed on this show while she comes out looking amazing. We'll see if that actually happens. I'm sure producers will make it that way, no matter what the reality is.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Farrah Abraham Writes a Naughty Novel (But Also Says She's Writing a Christian Parenting Book...So Yeah)

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Farrah Abraham of Teen Mom fame has found yet another way to shock and horrify us.

This time, she'll be releasing a naughty romance book based on her favorite subject: herself. Actually, not just one book - a trilogy. Three books about how much Farrah Abraham loves herself and wants to talk about her sex tape, even though she claims it ruined her life.

The Amazon.com sales page provides the following about the book:
The journey...

Hot sex. A few thrills. A lot of tips and tricks. There has to be more to life than this, and I’m going to find it.

The woman...

I’m like every other person out there: I want to be loved and I want to be happy. But in the words of my best friend, I have to kiss a few frogs along the way. That’s okay, I know what I want and I’m not afraid to go after it, to hell with what other people think. My name is Fallon Opal, and I’m not who everyone thinks I am.

The star...

To the world I’m another starlet gone crazy: always traveling, clubbing non-stop, and juggling drug problems and alcohol issues. The truth couldn’t be further from that. I’m on a journey to find myself and I’m going to do it without shame—my way. Sometimes it feels like the world is against me but that won’t stop me from getting mine.
So, it's yet another "I'm Farrah and nobody understands me!" kind of venue. Sigh. We're kind of over this, aren't we?

Now that we have a brief synopsis of Farrah Abraham's sex book, called Celebrity Sex Tape - In the Making,  here's my interpretation of what's behind the digital pages. No, this isn't a clip of the book by any means, but it is an example of what I think is going to be stated in the Teen Mom star's venture into the world of romance writing.

Part One:

"My name's Fallon Opal," I said to the executives at exotic video conglomerate Velvet Entertainment. "We know," said the president of the company, "and we're so glad you're on board with the marketing of your porn video. It's going to be huge - Kim Kardashian huge." All I could think about was my boyfriend, Jimmy Deen, when I heard the word huge. Also, sausage, but that's another story. Anyway, back to business. "Well," I said, "it's not a porn. It's a legit sex tape. It got leaked."  The executive stifled a laugh. He clearly didn't believe me. It's fine though. I mean, I'm Fallon Opal - when I do a private sex tape, I do it big. A set, a porn star counterpart, multiple cameras - but it's just for me, I promise. It's not my fault it got leaked. But if it's out anyway, I might as well make some cash from it, right?

Part Two:

I took my daughter Seraphina to church today because I'm such a good mom. I'm really in tune with my Christian values. In fact, I'm writing a Christian parenting book to prove it. Now listen, before you judge me by my sex tape and the writing of my religious parenting publication, everybody has sex. It's totally fine for us to be in tune with our bodies - there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Besides, I can use the proceeds from my book to help out my church. Maybe, anyway. Or I could pay for Seraphina's nannies because she needs them as I travel around the world graciously meeting my fans. And taking care of Seraphina is the Christian thing to do because she's my daughter and she needs me. Oh, it looks like I've got to smile big today - it looks like parishioners are noticing me and want my autograph. The public wants what it wants, and they want me, Fallon Opal!


Hollywood Darlings: Episode 2, My So Called Prom

On Hollywood Darlings (which is an improvised comedy, not reality), the girls drank a charcoal drink, which Jodie hated. Someone came up to ...