Thursday, March 27, 2014

Kanye West Buys Kim Kardashian Burger King Restaurants As Wedding Gift

Kanye West really wants Kim Kardashian to have income other than from being he bought her ten Burger King restaurants as wedding gifts.

The fast food restaurants are scattered across the UK, Italy and France, so Kim will get some great vacations if she visits her restaurants around the globe.

I think this was a pretty smart idea on Kanye's part. Fame fades, but Burger King will most likely keep Kim wearing Prada and whatever other expensive stuff she wears on the daily. Although it's a little bit funny that Kim will own part of a fast food empire when she probably doesn't eat fast food for fear of gaining weight.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The Teen Mom Girls Tell MTV: It's Us or Farrah Abraham!

Catelynn Lowell, Maci Bookout and Amber Portwood have joined forces against one of their own - Teen Mom cast member Farrah Abraham.

That's right. Three girls who are famous for not knowing how to prevent pregnancy are now standing up against the fourth in their circle. While it sounds a little ridiculous at first, Catelynn, Maci and Amber have a point. While they're all working to improve their lives, Farrah's doing...lots of things. And none of them are good.

Catelynn's using her adoption to make a difference in people's lives and is trying to make things right with Tyler. Breast implants aside, I'm not sure that Maci's doing much that's too controversial. And Amber made the strong, amazing choice to spend time in jail so she can improve herself. Farrah, on the other hand, made a porn video, appeared on Couples Therapy alone and made an awful music video.

The argument the girls make against Farrah is that they don't want their kids on a show that talks about sex toys. I'm not completely buying it. I mean, sure, it's probably part of the issue, and it seems like they want to distance themselves from her due to her bad behavior in general. Although if their kids eventually want to watch Teen Mom, they probably don't want the kids seeing their own storylines alongside Farrah's about getting molds made of her behind.

Reportedly, MTV is considering this ultimatum because the three girls are more valuable (ratings wise and money wise, I'm sure) than Farrah to the network.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Farrah Abraham's Song is 'Blowing' Me Away...Because it is SO AWFUL.

Just when you thought you'd seen everything from Farrah Abraham (a porno, a Christian parenting book, a stint as a single person on Couples Therapy, etc.), Farrah is back with more. And this time, it's just...awful.

She's got this new song called "Blowin" and it blows. Below, I've listed the lyrics with my commentary in italics. Note that this song is written by Farrah, which is pretty evident, because no self respecting songwriter would piece this together. Oh yeah, and I've embedded the video below - you can't hear any of the lyrics, which is probably done on purpose and with the help of a lot of autotune.

Grammatical errors are not mine; Farrah's lyrics are taken from YouTube.

Let me get that air
That breeze
The wind I need ,
Im blowin (I'm blowin)
All these bullies away

For a girl who doesn't want to be associated with her porn video, Farrah Abraham sure throws around the word "blowin" pretty freely. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with the word, but she certainly makes an association with it. So anyway, she's asking for some air so she can huff and puff and blow her bullies away. Alright, that's cool. You could stop fame whoring so much and being fake, but blowing people away works too.

Celeburty -Celeburty -Celeburty
Being yourself is makin you famous

WTF is a celeburty? Okay, I know it's supposed to be celebrity with a slight pronunciation flaw, but...why? Also, my issue with this part of the song is that the first part is in the first person - I'm blowin, etc. This part is about "you", so Farrah is switching the point of view on this. Is she talking to us? Is being ourselves making us famous? Because I'm certainly not.

Live and learn
Be better then normal
Make those mistakes
Your blowin ( your blowin) all their minds away
(Appearance, Sexuality, Ability)

So are you telling us you're better than us because we're normals? Lovely. And how are WE blowing THEIR minds away now? I thought Farrah (I) was blowing people away. Also, again, if Farrah does not want to be associated with her porno, she should stop using the words 'blowin' and 'sexuality' in such close proximity.

 Casted out
Now your standin out
Like a star
Be true to you
Topin all the charts

I can understand topping the charts, but toping them? You know you posted this on YouTube without spell check, right? I don't even really get what Farrah's point is here - this is a series of disjointed thoughts. Casted out, now you're standing out - one phrase. Now, where does 'like a star' go? With the standing out? Or is it saying like a star, be true to you? Because many stars are far less than true to themselves when they go in search of fame and fortune. Thirdly, what charts is Farrah topping? The top sales for a porn video charts? Top Google searches to see her porn movie?

 All these ups
And downs
With the best
Support around
(Following, Friend requestin, Fan pages)
Bein a star
Is better then
Not knowin (not knowin)
Who your are

Let the hate stack up
Positivity push through
Being you (Bein You)
Take your time,
(Have the last laugh)
It's your time

I couldn't stand to dissect too much more of this so I'm taking on these two sections as one. First of all, "who your are" is not correct. Secondly, if she has the best support around, then why is she so concerned about people hating on her? I have to agree on one point: being a star IS better than not knowing who you are. That being said, the two things are not mutually exclusive. You can be a star, and in fact, know who you are, or not be a star and know who you are, or not be a star and not know who you are. As for the second paragraph, go ahead and have what you think is the last laugh...but writing this song isn't helping that happen.

Being ourselves made us famous

Who are these people she's referring to? And first this song was saying "I", then "you", and now "us"? Who are these people, other than Farrah? Her multiple personalities? (I mean, the Christian mother and porn star can't really be the same person, can they?) Anyway, being myself did not make me famous. So, no, Farrah, being ourselves did not make us famous. Just you. And I don't think anyone really thinks you know who you really are behind all the plastic surgery and plastic personality traits.

So, that's my assessment of this song. Now listen to the autotuned mess and judge for yourself.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

We Are Enabling the Kardashians and Their Ridiculously Expensive Travel By Buying Travel Plans With Their Names On Them

There is a kardinal rule for the Kardashian klan - keep your name on everything.

So now, not only can you dress like a Kardashian, diet like a Kardashian, and spend hours staring at the lifestyle of Kardashians, now you can travel like them too. Well, sort of.

Kris Jenner and crew will soon unveil their latest money making scheme - I mean, endeavor. Per Naughty But Nice Rob:
According to the source, a major travel company approached the “Kardashian Mob Boss” Kris with the proposal and she has now had all of the family signed on (with hefty paychecks for the rights to use their names).

So, let me see...the Kardashians have to tell a travel company where they like to go, people will take the trips that have pretty much nothing to do with the Kardashians at all, and Kris and the family will take in hefty royalty checks? Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me...and looks like another way to do what Mama Jenner does best - show off how much money her family has in the bank. (Vacations that Kardashians take don't come cheap...or even if they do, we'll never get to know it.)

The part I find funniest about this is that the Kim and Kanye package will be the most expensive. So, does that mean Kris is ranking the value of each of her money makers (family members) based on their estimated income and travel budgets?

While I don't have a ton of nice things to say about the Kardashians, you have to admit this is a pretty sweet deal for them. They get to approve or deny the travel packages with their names on them, they make a ton of cash, and then they pretty much do nothing...except for maybe take a vacation to somewhere other than the destination in which they've claimed is their favorite.

Want to somehow associate yourself with Kardashians without spending a ton of money on travel? Here are some other exciting (haha) options to make yourself feel connected with the reality TV family:


Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Dating Do's and Don'ts from Duggars

Jana, Jill, Jessa and Jinger Duggar want to talk to you about dating.

Well, sort of. They've written a book about Christian dating rules.

Their key words of advice include:
- Stay away from men so you don't get tempted.
- Censor your thoughts to keep out impure ones.
- Giving into impure desires only gives temporary fulfillment.

They also talking about thanking God for making them normal (which means straight, I believe), sibling rivalry and the fact that even those as religious as the Duggars feel insecurities about their bodies.

I don't hate the Duggars at all - I used to watch their show relatively frequently - but this #1 Christian bestseller on Amazon definitely paints a picture that sides only with a very conservative Christian movement. I mean, Jessa, now that she's courting, has earned the right to side hug her boyfriend...and I think that's considered liberal.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

My Five Wives: My Thoughts and a Sister Wives vs. My Five Wives Rap

My Five Wives premiered tonight on TLC. It is my opinion that the Williams family is being brought to the network to replace the now stale Sister Wives show.

In case you forgot from the preview episode of My Five Wives we saw way back when, the Williams family is comprised of husband Brady, wives Paulie, Robyn, Rosemary, Nonie, and Rhonda and all of their kids. If I recall the preview episode correctly, we met them as a family that functions well, gets along and respects each others' wishes. And that was true again in tonight's episode. The family found being on TV liberating, by the way. So good for them!

The show was good. I liked the dramatic beginning where it looked like Brady was dreaming, waking up with each of his wives one at a time. He has five wives, five homes, and 24 kids. (Note that each wife has her own space - that's a great way to keep the peace - give each woman her own identity and home. Technically, Rhonda and Nonie share a home and Paulie, Robyn, and Rosemary share one as well, but they all have their own space, save for shared laundry rooms.)

Paulie is Brady's first wife of 22 years and she has six kids with him.
Robyn, married to Brady for 21 years, is the second wife. They have five kids. Robyn's mom lived the polygamist lifestyle, so she's not surprised by the struggles of this family structure.
Rosemary and Brady, married 19 years, have four kids.
Nonie and Brady have five kids and have been been married for 16 years.
Rhonda, the fifth wife, and Brady have four kids. She and Brady had dated when they were young but they married much later. She was raised with the belief that you don't tell anyone about being polygamist for legal reasons.

Brady has a construction business with his brother, and they have to be successful - Brady's family's grocery bill is over $4,000 a month! So not only Brady supporting a large family, but he's working - and he's going to college. That guy must not sleep much!

Something notable about the family is that they seem to get along pretty well a lot of the time - they can all genuinely laugh together, which is something we don't see much on Sister Wives. And this has a lot to do with Brady - he seems to genuinely want his wives to get along and be successful as a unit. While the wives do have their issues, they were willing to discuss them at Brady's request...and that goes a long way. Sure, not all discussions are successful (as we see on this episode), but at least they try to work things out. Notably, after this episode's unsuccessful talk, Brady tried to step in and help...which may not have quite worked, but at least he gave it a try. He also realized that the safe talks may not be a great idea, and he was willing to rethink the idea, rather than being stubborn and refusing to change.

The family discussed moving because they'd left their church, but still live in an area where residents are church members. That makes the Williams family unwanted in their town. This discussion took place on the show during a family meeting, and you could practically see the tension. However, the wives seem to realize the benefits of sharing meetings and discussing their concerns.

So, not to leave you hanging, here's my (very bad) My Five Wives vs. Sister Wives rap. Think the kind of rap that was like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song - not real rap, just friendly, lightweight, not very good old school rap.

Sister Wives vs. My Five Wives Rap

There once was a plyg guy named Kody Brown
He was happy on TV until a new fam came around
See Kody and the Williams', they could have been friends
But even if they tried it would soon come to an end
Because Brady and his wives will be the popular ones
And Kody and his four wives and the network? Done.
So Sister Wives ain’t cancelled from TLC today
But it feels like Brady Williams will send them away
I kind of get that feeling cuz the wives have run their course
And if Kody doesn’t watch out they’ll be airing a divorce
What we like about the Williams' is they seem to get along
When these days the Brown family seems to be getting it wrong
Like when Robyn said to Meri she can’t leave to find herself
Cuz Robyn helped to raise Mariah so Meri must stay and help (what?)
Don’t get me wrong here, the Brown kids are a fun bunch
But the adults are less endearing and I have a hunch
That TLC wants to keep ratings that the Sister Wives can’t bring
So the Williams were brought on…this should be interesting.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Couples Therapy Season Finale - 3/6/14

We have made it through another season of Couples Therapy, and tonight we saw the story close out.

First, we learned that Kelsey has never masturbated. I don't have a whole lot more to say about that.

Taylor's daughter Kennedy came to visit the house, accompanied by nanny Ashleigh. The reason for this is because once Taylor and John are married, they'll have to co-parent. John didn't seem to have a very high opinion of Kennedy - he said she tries to press Taylor's buttons, among other things. He's right, but still. John and Taylor took Kennedy out for a meal, and the goal of this meal was to get Taylor to learn how to discipline Kennedy. It didn't seem to work well at first. because Kennedy refused to choose a meal, but everyone looked happy after the meal, so I guess things went okay.

John and Taylor talked to Whitney after the meal, and they discussed the trouble of John not wanting to step in right away as a disciplinarian and Taylor's inability to be tough with Kennedy. John and Taylor next talked to Dr. Jenn. Dr. Jenn said that they have to set expectations, and also set aside playtime with Kennedy every day. Dr. Jenn said Taylor's parenting can set Kennedy up to be anxious, and that concerned Taylor.

Apparently Liz did have more to say about Kelsey's lack of masturbation, so she and Jon gave Kelsey a vibrator. Kelsey said maybe she'd give it a try.

Farrah met with Dr. Jenn to talk about the date she went on with a guy named Ryan, a guy whose profile she chose on a dating site. They watched the video of the date. Dr. Jenn complimented Farrah on some of her actions, although everything Farrah said seemed really fake. And when Farrah watched herself, she smiled, but when she saw Ryan say something that displeased her, she just looked horrified. Not that I can blame her at some points, because Ryan cursed up a storm during part of the date, talked about f***** b****es and working at Playboy.

Farrah accused Ryan of being fake and secretly laughing at her. Which may be hypocritical, but it doesn't make it right. Dr. Jenn said this date was representative of how Farrah handles relationships - she tries too hard and stays too long. To attract a guy, Dr. Jenn said Farrah has to show who she actually is and be honest about how she feels.

Ghostface and Kelsey talked, and Kelsey said she wants to find a way to forgive him. Kelsey talked about how she felt upset about Ghost dating her and someone else, and Ghost refused to take blame - he told her she did it to herself. Ghost continued to put blame on Kelsey, then said he forgives her. Kelsey asked why, and he said for putting him through all of this. Um, what? Ghost clearly went to the house voluntarily. Reluctantly, yes. But also voluntarily. He didn't have to do. And he didn't have to lie to Kelsey and Latrice by not telling each of them about the other.

Dr. Jenn met with Ghost and Kelsey to help them move past their breakup. Ghost said he wants to carry on the friendship they've had. Dr. Jenn said it's not ideal - a couple shouldn't have a friendship for a year after they break up. Kelsey seemed to agree with Dr. Jenn - she said they need time apart but should catch up on holidays.

Whitney and Sada discussed how they're glad they went on Couples Therapy. It was nice to see them getting along so well.

Jon went to buy Liz a gift to represent a turning point in their relationship after Couples Therapy. It was a ring, which he presented to Liz after a touching speech. After she opened it, Jon said it was a promise ring...which he probably should have said before giving her the ring. Fortunately, Liz seemed to be okay with her non-engagement ring.

On the last evening, everyone took a steamboat trip together. On the boat, Dr. Jenn toasted everyone and complimented their progress. She then gave everyone the opportunity to toast to their partners and to themselves. Kelsey toasted a friendship with Ghost in the future. Ghost asked for forgiveness and thanked Kelsey for her friendship. Farrah said she was happy to have found the strength to better herself. She almost sounded sincere. Jon toasted to being part of Liz's life. Liz toasted to being thankful for the journey she shared with Jon at Couples Therapy. Sada said she's grateful for Whitney every day. Whitney said she and Sada are committed to having the best relationship they can. Taylor said she didn't want John to marry someone who hadn't moved past their issues, essentially saying that she now has. John said he wanted to end this with something cool, so he gave Taylor adoption papers so he can adopt Kennedy.

And that was it. I think every person on the show will end up better from the experience, even Farrah, although as we've seen from her recent news headlines that she's still living in the clouds and insisting her porn video was a sex tape. Hopefully she at least learned something, and she and everyone else can move forward and be better because of it.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Rachel Canning CANNOT Force Her Parents To Give Her Money!

If you've been following the news for the last couple of days, you heard about Rachel Canning, the 18 year old cheerleader who like, totally deserves her mommy and daddy's she sued them for it.

Okay, there's more to the story than that. Rachel, a student at a private high school, maintains that her parents kicked her out of the house. However, her parents tell a different story - their daughter was unwilling to live by their rules, so she moved out. And then sued her parents because they stopped paying her high school tuition and wouldn't fork over her college fund. And she wants to go to an expensive private school, not the one she got a scholarship to attend.

There were a couple other key points I read throughout the course of my research:
  • Her parents stopped paying her high school tuition. While I side with her parents on almost every issue, this one bothers me. But, Rachel did choose to move out, is 18 and can make her own choices, so I guess her parents don't have to pay up.
  • The stories vary, but Rachel's legal counsel is funded bu the parent of the friend she's living with. And when Rachel sued her parents, she sued for the 'extensive' legal fees that he 'fronted' to Rachel. So this dad (a lawyer) and her actual lawyer win this case no matter what. Why? If they won, they got cash. If they lost, they got all the fame that came with this ridiculous case.
  • Rachel spending time with her 'loser' boyfriend is part of the issue between her and her parents. Um, hello, Rachel....learn to sneak around like the rest of us did.
  • A state worker had visited the Canning home recently and determined that Rachel was a spoiled brat, so, not abused or anything like it.
  • Rachel's parents have money, so like, they totally owe it to her. (Insert hair twirl here.) I do believe parents should pay for their kids' education if they can, but if the kid can't wait the extra few months before college without jumping ship, they don't owe her anything.
  • It appears that Rachel has siblings, so the house can't be that bad if she was willing to leave them there and / or they don't want to leave.

Anyway, the trial happened today, and shocker, RACHEL LOST. Well, sort of.


A New Jersey family court judge ruled today that Rachel Canning’s parents do not have to pay her high school tuition after she sued them to cover her schooling and living costs.
The judge delayed a ruling on whether the parents must pay the 18-year-old student’s college tuition while asking lawyers to consider whether it’s wise to “establish precedent where parents live in fear of establishing rules of the house?"
The judge also denied her request for attorney fees, although ruling that the parents should continue with weekly allowance and "child support" payments to their daughter.
The next hearing is scheduled for April 22. 

So, wait...the parents are still giving her an allowance? And I heard they're still handing over her college what is this girl talking about? She's claiming her parents are awful and abusive...but I bet in her book, that just means they won't give the honors student her car back and unlimited funds.

I know there are three sides to every story: the first person's, the second person's and the truth, but I somehow thing Rachel needs counseling before she's handed any more cash. You're entitled to hate your parents, which is perfectly fine. But you can't hate them and demand unlimited cash at the same time.

Oh yeah, and newsflash, Rachel Canning - clearly this story was fed to the media, because this could have been done quietly. If your plan to go to a good school was to get a good job, keep dreaming. Employers search for info about potential applicants online, and now, you are so screwed.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Joe and Teresa Guidice - Ready for a Guilty Plea

Despite their earlier plan of requesting separate trials (which I guess didn't look good), Teresa and Joe Giudice are going to plead guilty in court in their mortgage fraud & bankruptcy fraud case.

While reports differ greatly on what may happen to the pair (from Teresa getting no time to two years and Joe taking some kind of deal that would let him escape deportation), it doesn't seem like anyone knows the outcome for sure.

So, here's my theory:

Joe Guidice is going to end up in jail for while. Five years minimum, but I'd say probably more, because he'll take all the jail time so Teresa doesn't end up in the slammer. (He still maintains that she knew nothing, keep in mind.) Teresa will end up on some serious probation. At least five years, in which she'll have to use her fame for community service. Maybe do public appearances to talk about why fraud is wrong and what it can do to a family. I think the judge will realize that keeping Teresa with the kids is a good idea, especially if she has to pay fines for her and Joe's mistakes. (And really, it's way easier to make appearances when you're not in jail!) If anything, they'll lock her up on weekends for a while as to not disrupt the kids' lives more than they already have been. This will make it harder for Teresa to do appearances, but will still give her time to make some money.

It would be interesting to see if the judge blocks Teresa from filming again for The Real Housewives of New Jersey - I wonder if he or she can do that.

What do you think will happen to the Giudice family?