Sunday, February 23, 2014

Sister Wives Tell All 2/23/14: Did Anyone Else Not Like What Robyn Said to Meri?

I'm watching the Sister Wives Tell All special, and there's one thing that sticks out to me - Robyn's criticism of Meri wanting to find herself.

During the Sister Wives Tell All, Meri talked about how she wanted to find herself now that she's an empty nester. When questioned about what she meant and something like sky diving was given as an example, Meri went with it - she went on to talk about doing something crazy but short term. In reality, I think she really meant that she needs some time away from the family.

The problem I had with this situation is what Robyn said. She said she resents what Meri said because she helped raise Mariah, and she expects Meri to do the same for her kids. I think she was trying to be funny - what she meant was that she knows Meri appreciates Robyn's help, and that Robyn appreciates Meri's help and wants her to stay around.

However, the way it came out was "I helped you; now you need to help me." Well, they are sister wives, but Meri absolutely does NOT owe Robyn anything. Robyn came in once the family was built. Robyn brought in her own kids to an already large household. Robyn was around after most of Mariah's formative years. Meri does not owe her anything.

That being said, this isn't exclusive to Robyn and Meri - I don't think the sister wives "owe" each other anything. If they want to help each other, excellent. More power to them. But they do not "owe" each other anything just by virtue of being sister wives.

Okay, back to the point - saying that Meri shouldn't be allowed to find herself is so, so wrong. When any parent's child moves out of the house, the parent has to find their new identity. They no longer wake up to feed their children. They have to accept that their kids are growing into independence. This, in and of itself, is a new identity.

I 100% percent Meri if she needs to go leave the family - even for an extended amount of time - to find her new identity. Just because she's in a plural marriage doesn't mean that she doesn't have an individual identity.  Maybe she wants to focus on being a businesswoman. Maybe she wants to be a chef for the whole family. Whatever she wants to do, she deserves to have that chance. And sure, she'll be involved with all the kids and love them as much as she can. But she deserves to find herself...and I bet when Robyn ends up with no kids in her home, she'll want to find herself as well.

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