Thursday, February 27, 2014

Couples Therapy 2/27/14

This week's episode of Couples Therapy opened with Whitney and Sada having their usual argument. However, they said that they've learned about reading other people's cues and things, which helps their relationship.

Sada waited anxiously for her dad to arrive at the Couples Therapy house. Her dad, Alvaro Bettencourt, didn't look immediatel threatening - he even hugged Dr. Jenn Berman at Sada's request. Dr. Jenn explained that Sada and Whitney fight a lot, and Sada explained that Whitney didn't experience the yelling that she did as a child. Sada noted that her dad used be a body builder and would break furniture in the house, but then five minutes later it would be all over. Dr. Jenn said that Sada has a habit of taking care of her dad, and Sada said she knows they love each other. Dr. Jenn explained that Alvaro didn't realize how scary his attitude was for Sada. He said he learned it from childhoold, in which his dad was even scarier than he was. Dr. Jenn said when someone has a violent parent, they either say they don't ever wnt to do that or they end up like that parent. Dr. Jenn asked Alvaro where he falls, and he admitted that he'd hit Sada one time. He apologized and it seemed very sincere. The pair ended up realizing they should talk more to end the cycle of violence, and both seemed genuinely happy to have appeared on the show together.

Farrah complained that her boyfriend Daniel was coming to join her in therapy. When asked what she wants to gain from it, she said Dr. Jenn can ask why boyfriends don't show up and they act shady. (Anyone else think she's placing the blame in the wrong place? Also, Farrah gave him permission to be there.) Dr. Jenn said she's hoping to get some insight about what it's like to date Farrah. Daniel said what he saw from Farrah initially was good - she was kind and they had fun. But if you express any opinion to Farrah, she wouldn't let that happen - she had a 'my way or the highway attitude'. Daniel said he didn't feel like he was treated like a boyfriend and he saw things about her that he did not like. He elaborated - Farrah was rude, blunt and had no regard for anyone else. She doesn't seem to notice this. Farrah said that when she gets a lack of affection from people, it's hurtful. It was like Farrah shuts down and changes the subject when she get insulted. Daniel elaborated, saying that Farrah should be setting a better example for Sophia. Clearly, Farrah was angry. She gave Daniel a fake goodbye and when he went to shake her hand, he refused.

After Daniel left, Farrah said Daniel's words were hard to hear. She insisted that she's always a very good role model in front of her daughter in real life. Dr. Jenn said that Daniel's feedback was similar to the feedback from her housemates - she comes off as disrespectful even when she doesn't mean to be. Dr. Jenn said she thinks Farrah still has the kind heart that Daniel saw, but it's hidden by pain. Dr. Jenn told Farrah she's come so far - in the beginning of therapy, she wouldn't be able to sit through being insulted. Afterwards, Farrah talked to the confessional and said some stuff that made it sound like she took absolutely nothing out of Daniel's visit - it was like, I'm getting insight into why guys leave and maybe I can change something about myself. She's still placing all of the blame outwards.

We caught a quick glimpse of Kelsey and Ghost, and it was nice to see Kelsey coming to terms with everything.

Dr. Jenn met with Taylor to talk about parenting. Taylor admitted that it's stressful and she felt that during her marriage, she couldn't be emotionally with daughter Kennedy. She has a lot of guilt about that. After Taylor talked about Kennedy getting angry, Dr. Jenn said it's normal for Kennedy to be angry - she's lost a parent and gone through a lot. Dr. Jenn reminded Taylor that she has to remain as an authority figure. This seemed to get through to Taylor, because she told the confessional that she'll now be all about Kennedy and John (her fiance), ands she'll try to create structure for Kennedy.

Jon Gosselin talked to the group about Kate and how she's suing him for millions. Jon made an interesting point about Kate. He said, regarding Kate, "You hate me more than you love your children". Taylor made a good point - so what if Kate wins against Jon? There's nothing she can take; he doesn't have millions to give. And in the process of creating this hate, neither Jon or Kate is giving their kids the love they deserve.

Jon had a phone call with Kate that did not go well. He felt like Kate doesn't value him as a person. His girlfriend Liz said she wished that she could take away Jon's pain. Jon resented the fact that Kate can say whatever she wants but he feels like he can't, and he feels that she exploits the kids. (Which, you know, she does.)

Dr. Jenn planned something special for the group. She said it's evident that many people in the house have childhood pain and trauma that they've supressed. Dr. Mike said the group would be doing exposure therapy, which really means that they can smash stuff to get out their anger. Dr. Mike asked the group to find items that bring them back to their defining moments, and then trash the place.

Taylor went first and this really worked for her. She channeled her anger at her parents and her ex-husband, and she really freaked out. Afterwards, she said she felt better but not in control of her body. She said she felt better because she realized that what other people did wasn't her fault and she could stop blaming herself.

Farrah was next. She said she hated worrying about a house - her mom cared more about the house than family. Farrah started by smashing a painting, which is representative of all of the things she was never allowed to touch and all the messes she was never allowed to make. Dr. Mike told Farrah to pretend Dr. Jenn was her mom for a minute and talk to her. She told her mom she wanted her to care about her more than things. She said some other stuff but it was lost in tears. Dr. Mike asked about someone whose name was blocked out, and Farrah talked about how with that person, she didn't feel insecure about her face, body, etc. And then she talked about how she changes herself (the plastic surgery and all) to hide from the insecurities.

Kelsey's turn was all about how people never understood her and weren't willing to compromise with her. Ghost noted that he never realized what Kelsey was feeling. Dr. Mike asked Ghost if he now understands why Kelsey was so upset when she found out that Ghost was seeing another woman, and he seemed to actually understand for the first time.

When Jon's turn came up, it was brutal - or at least the cameras made it look that way. He kept talking about how he wasted his life with Kate and hated how everything had to be perfect...yet everything was fake. Jon was told to tell Liz what he needs. He said love, but more than that, he stood up for himself and told Liz what he wanted. They shared a big hug, which is more than we usually get from Liz. Jon seemed like he genuinely felt better about his relationship with Liz after this exercise.

Next week is the season finale. Taylor will cry, Ghost will be a jerk and say he forgives Kelsey (say what?) and I'm sure we'll get a lot more emotional breakthroughs.

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