I watched Being Farrah today, and even more than before, I realize how delusional Farrah is.
A couple of observations:
Farrah made a big deal about how she wants to be normal, yet nothing she does is for the sake of normalcy. Club appearances, porn videos (oh I'm sorry - sex tapes) and a sex toy line - not for someone who truly wants a normal life.
I think my favorite part of what conversation was when Farrah was asked how she made the leap from a sex tape to a sex toy line and she acted all kinds of offended...or at least I think so. I couldn't tell past all the makeup and overstated eyelashes.
When asked whether she was worried about anyone talking to daughter Sophia about her sexual entertainment ventures, Farrah pretty much said that only someone disgusting would do that. She said if it happens later in Sophia's life, it'll be okay because she'll, like, have totally told Sophia about the birds and the bees like that!
Later in the show, Farrah said she hates when people call her a porn star because that's a lie. She later clarified, saying that she's done one movie, but she's not a porn star! She also said she didn't fit in with the porn crew, and she didn't understand why her friends have sex tapes which is fine, but hers isn't okay. (Well, she's famous and her tape was filmed on a sound stage with a porn star. So...yeah.)
Another thing - Farrah let her dad move into her guest house, then complained that he's around. Yet Farrah travels all the time...so her dad must be watching Sophia, right? It must be good to have him around then! Let's be clear - Farrah is not raising Sophia on her own.
Farrah sees an aesthetician for preventative work on her face, even though she'd had a million plastic surgeries and looks, well, plastic. She's so proud of the work she'd had done - what happened to being even remotely happy with who you are?
I can't say Farrah is entirely to blame. As we learned on Couples Therapy, Farrah and her mom have issues. And Farrah's mom clearly can't open up and be a mom in the way that Farrah needs her to be. And the pair seem to be both pushing on each other and pulling away from each other at the same time. They also seem to have the same ways of being in denial - they talked about how it's good to be good at things in the sex industry as long as they're not disgusting, and that's not who they are or something.
Oh yeah, and Farrah maintains that she's a good role model because she can protect Sophia from things she's gone through, but I'm not convinced.
I'm not going to judge Farrah's parenting because what we see on the show is such a small piece of her real life, but I will say that it does seem to be hard on Sophia to have TV crews around. However, kids act out all the time, so I can't hold Sophia's tantrum against Farrah in this individual incident.
It was interesting that when Farrah asked Sophia how she looked before she went out, Sophia said she looks evil. I'm sure it's a random, weird kid thing, but it definitely seems if Sophia is fearful about Farrah leaving her and not coming back...probably because Farrah's always leaving for long periods of time for work and things.
I do think Farrah would be different if Derek was alive. It seemed that Derek loved Farrah for who she was, and he would have stuck by her and Sophia if he was alive. I think his untimely death was a big part of Farrah choosing the negative lifestyle that she did.
Farrah keeps repeating the same things like a broken record in every situation - I'm not a porn star, I've accomplished so much, I made mistakes but I'm good now, I'm successful, I'm a great mom, blah, blah blah blah. The most real thing I heard her say in the whole episode is that she and her mom get along better when they're not together all the time. That is probably the most real thing that she's said in years.
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