Monday, May 27, 2013

Reality TV News For The Week - MTV Version

Dear society: we have reinforced the fact that creating a sex tape will in fact help the fame of a fledgling reality star. Shouldn't we stop doing that? Apparently, the answer is no, if you're referring to Farrah Abraham and Spinboi Films. Farrah's signed on for a development deal with the film company for her own reality show. I'm not exactly sure what she'll do on the show, considering that we've already seen her everyday life and her sex tape (well, I haven't seen the tape, but you know what I mean), and she's already very exposed. I guess Spinboi has an idea, though, and we'll see what happens!

Also in Teen Mom news, Kailyn Lowry celebrated her baby shower, despite previously having played dumb about her pregnancy after news leaked. This is her second child, and her first with husband Javi Marroquin. I hope this marriage brings her success and happiness, and she and Javi raise the two kids in a happy home.

Teen Mom 3 is starting off with a level of maturity before it even airs (sarcasm). The girls began their rise to fame by mocking Farrah Abraham's crying face (which is fair, but not a great way to start a favorable public opinion) and using the word "gurlz" instead of "girls", showing that they've focused on their maturity as moms. (Sarcasm, again.) The cast, consisting of Alex Sekella, Mackenzie Douthit, Briana DeJesus and Katie Yeager, will air in August. Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on these girls. But I am tired of MTV making money off teen pregnancies. Sure, the girls are signing off on their participation and taking home a bunch of money (and so is MTV), but can we consider the effects on the children - and the teens - in the long run when they're growing up on TV? I feel like fame certainly didn't help Jenelle Evans or some of the others, while only Catelyn Lowell really used her situation to help others off screen. I hope these girls use this opportunity to truly show the struggles of teen pregnancy to help others, although it must be tough considering that MTV is now on its third set of Teen Moms, so the dynamic of the show (and the authenticity) has to change now that others have already gone through it. There is value behind this premise as long as it's done properly. Let's hope MTV is up to the challenge.

The Parents Television Council, which has a problem with literally everything ever, has a problem yet again. This time it has to do with Ke$ha drinking her own urine on TV. While I think the PTC needs to relax and change the channel (which they clearly don't do because they're watching TV waiting for something indecent to happen), I do agree with one thing that they say - people should be able to choose which television stations they subscribe to. I don't agree that it's for reasons of human decency, but I think it's for pricing reasons. I get a zillion and a half channels of TV that I don't watch...and about 20 channels that I do watch. If it would be cheaper to only subscribe to certain channels, I'd be down with that. I don't think that will ever happen, though, because it would block people from branching out into new channels and therefore decrease potential advertising revenue...and somehow cable companies would find a way to charge you more for less channels. Seriously, though, PTC, set some parental controls on your TV and get over it.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Who Won Celebrity Apprentice All Stars on 5/19/13?

The winner of All Star Celebrity Apprentice is...

Trace Adkins!!!

Sorry, Penn played a good game. But Trace's rendition of Honky Tonk Badonkadonk was fun during his team's ice cream party, and Gary Busey's reprisal of his role as Buddy Holly was great to watch. To Penn's credit, in the final challenge, he brought in more money for his charity than Trace could, and he got an extra $100,000 for Opportunity Village. So it wasn't a total loss.

Also, props must be given to Donald Trump because he gave money to those who didn't win money for their charities during the season. Gary Busey was given $20,000 for his charity, and so were Lil Jon, La Toya Jackson and Dennis Rodman. Lil Jon was later given $100,000 for his charity to honor Lil Jon's mother, who had passed away.

I personally think Penn Jillette should have taken the ultimate win, but that's just my opinion.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Celebrity Apprentice All Stars Recap: A Super Short Synopsis

On Celebrity Apprentice All Stars, here's what went down:

Penn Jillette, Trace Adkins, Lisa Rinna and Lil Jon were called back into the boardroom after last week's elimination. First, Lisa Rinna was eliminated, then Lil Jon, leaving the final two - Penn Jillette and Trace Adkins.

Penn and Trace were told to create a flavor of Walgreens Delish ice cream for their final challenge. They had to create the flavor, the packing, a video, and sell 50 tickets to a VIP event they would be hosting. They'd be judged on ice cream flavor, money raised and brand messaging.

Help was brought in and the teams were chosen by Donald Trump. Trace got Marilu Henner, Gary Busey and Lil Jon. Penn got Lisa Rinna, LaToya Jackson and Dennis Rodman.

Each team had to create two flavors and then narrow it down to one. They were visited and assisted by Joan Rivers throughout their task.

Penn's team ended up getting really excited about using the word 'swirtle' in their title - a mix of swirl and turtle (the chocolate-filled-with-caramel kind). They later doubted their choice because it could be confusing, but to alleviate that, they included an explanation of the word on the ice cream packaging.

The teams asked the public to sample their two flavors.

Gary Busey was the star of Trace's teams video, and he was on point...after he woke up. His job was to dance in the video.

Penn's team created a video featuring Penn, Teller and some showgirls. The video ran long and that created a problem.

And now we wait for the finale!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding - Teddy Lee's Behavior Is Deplorable!

While My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding gives us lots of bad scenarios, I'm absolutely horrified by Teddy Lee's behavior on tonight's episode.

If you didn't watch tonight's episode, here's a recap.

  • Teddy Lee has a pregnant Gorger girlfriend named Megan.
  • He's out partying with (and sleeping with) another Gorger, Corrie.
  • He has a paving business in which he purposely tries to overcharge people for work and lies to them before work begins.
  • He got in trouble for being in a particular neighborhood, and when he had to get out, he asked Corrie to drive because he doesn't have a license.
  • He had the nerve to get upset when Megan got upset with him and yelled at him in the morning because it's bad luck in his culture. (Never mind the fact that she was mad because he was out drinking with and sleeping with other girls.)
  • At the end of his portion of the episode, he broke up with Megan so he could leave the area.
  • He stated that his dad warned him that Gorger girls are nothing but trouble, and seemed to be complaining about it...yet he'd continually partied with Gorger girls.

I really cannot believe that Teddy Lee wanted sympathy from people for his situations (like Corrie leaving a bite mark on him) when he was acting so awfully! He broke up with moved away from his pregnant girlfriend like it was nothing! Ugh...I just had to rant about it! So ridiculous! What do you think about this?

My AFAA Primary Group Fitness Experience

In the days before my AFAA Primary Group Fitness Exam, a few main thoughts swirled through my head:

1. I don't want to do this! I'm scared!
2. I hope I have a big group so I blend in and the people scoring us don't notice me during the practical.
3. I'm so passing the written portion - I studied like crazy!
4. I better wake up early so I get there and sign in on time.

Pretty much, none of these were valid.

In response to point 1, there was nothing to be afraid all. Believe it or not, I had a lot of fun. The day begins with a quick, easy sign in, followed by the instructor introducing him or herself. Then, we introduce ourselves, which makes us feel at ease. Contrary to what I was told, the class portion of the AFAA certification is not grueling, and AFAA does not hate Zumba instructors. So if you hear either of those, they're wrong, at least in my opinion.

For point 2, now that AFAA's over, I'm so glad I had a small group. Because my group was small, we were able to ask questions comfortably and get a lot of individual attention. For example, during the muscle group review for the practical, I was able to get pointers, and each of us were able to demonstrate different moves for the muscle groups and get advised on our form. Also, when we did our individual presentations, we only had to sit through a few because there were so few of us. I can't imagine doing 50 squats and pushups because everyone had to demo their own!

On the third point, I think I did well on the written portion, but a lot of that was due to the instructor going over the main points in class. She did an excellent job of this. The one area where I felt I was lacking was knowledge of the muscles. I'm not talking about the main muscles, like the glutes and pecs, but the smaller muscles. You will need to know these muscles - and what they do - for the written exam. So study those! I'm not sure exactly how many questions there were relating to the muscles, but there were at least 10, and because you need 80 out of 100 questions right to pass, you're going to want to know those.

As far as point 4, getting there early, I didn't need to do that. So if you know where you're going for your AFAA, get there 10 - 15 minutes in advance. My 35 minute early arrival was completely unnecessary.

Below are the things you should bring to your AFAA exam:

Pencils. You'll need them for the 100 question written exam and instructor evaluation.
Water. You're going to get thirsty. Bring at least two regular-sized bottles.
Lunch and snacks. While we didn't get snack breaks, I did steal a moment to eat a cheese stick. And there may not be food local to where you are (all the places around us were closed) so be prepared on your own.
Your CPR card. You can't be officially AFAA certified without CPR. Bring your card if you have it, or you'll have to get it and mail it later.
A hoodie. When you're doing bookwork, you'll want to stay warm...and the facility can get cold!
Your study guide. You'll be taking lots of notes in the margins, so you'll need this.

Now, as far as the AFAA Primary Group Certification day, here's how it all went down:

The day began with intros, including the instructor introducing herself, the instructor introducing AFAA and AFAA opportunities (like becoming someone who teaches the classes or judges the exams), and our own introductions. Next, we cracked open our study guides and learned what we'd need to know for the test. While we learned more than just test stuff, our instructor made sure to let us know when something should be specifically memorized, noting that we'd see it later. We essentially went page by page through the book and made notes by the important parts.

Next, we reviewed the group warm-up, cardio and cool down portions of the practical exam. Note: stretches are no longer a required part of this. Before 2010, they were. Now, they're not. You're required to do an example warm-up, cardio portion and cool down for a fitness class. The whole thing lasts maybe 5 minutes. The idea behind this is that you show the beginning of a warm up, a slightly higher impact warm up, the cardio portion, the beginning of a cool down and the end of a cool down. You're showing the bell curve of an exercise class, only this time it's packed into a 5 minute routine. Your instructor will show you this and you'll exercise along with her. If this makes you nervous, relax. It was super easy. You can do more than three exercises, but no less. Think simple: marching, v-steps, toe got this. Also, the instructor advised us to stick to formats that we know. She said Zumba instuctors should do Zumba, kickboxing instructors should do kickboxing, etc.

Next we went over the muscle groups and exercises for each group. You should study this in advance, but keep an open mind. Also, know that lunges and squats can be used for glutes, front legs and back legs. You can repeat exercises for more than one group. For each group, you need two exercises and one stretch. You do both exercises back-to-back (keep alternating because you won't be cued) and the stretch when cued after the exercises. Below are the muscle groups:

  • Pectorals
  • Upper back
  • Shoulders
  • Biceps and triceps (you can do all triceps or biceps - you don't have to show both)
  • Hip abductors and adductors
  • Glutes (squats and lunges are a safe bet for this & other leg stuff!)
  • Quads
  • Hamstrings
  • Abs / obliques
  • Erector Spinae

Following this, we were shown an example of the individual presentation. You can literally take what the teacher shows you and use it yourself. There's no reason not to! I chose to do a move I'd prepared instead, but someone in my class did use the instructor's example, and she rocked it.

Before I knew it, it was time for the tests. The only part that I found scary were the muscle exercises because I kept mixing them up in my head...I was nervous! Fortunately, there are others standing near you, so you can take a glance at them and share the move they're doing. Just make sure they're right before you take their move! Our instructor said everyone once copied someone who was doing a wrong move! I'm sure that doesn't happen often, though, so there's nothing to worry about.

Finally, we took the written test. This consisted of 100 questions. Most were multiple choice while some involved choosing an answer from a list. The list-type questions were like:

1. Bone
2. Muscle

a (Definition of bone)
b (Random definition)
c (Definition of muscle)
d (Random definition)

Also, there were some questions (the tricky ones!) that required you to look at a muscle map of the human body, identify the muscle and identify what it does. (Those certainly didn't help the headache I mentioned earlier!)

And that was it! Once I finished my written exam, I left...and now I wait 4-6 weeks for my results!

Some helpful hints:

Read Jackie Damp's account of her AFAA experience. It helped me a lot to prepare for the muscle group portion of the exam.

Learn the muscle groups. I can't emphasize this enough.

Order and watch the AFAA DVD. You'll feel much more confident if you do.

Visit and take the AFAA practice tests. While a lot of that stuff wasn't on the exam, some was, and it's worth learning this stuff!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Want Donations, Not Gifts...and Other Stuff

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have asked their friends to make donations to the Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children's Hospital in lieu or giving them baby gifts, per Kardashian's publicist. This is clearly a smart move after Kim Kardashian collected a ton of gifts for her short-lived wedding to Kris Humphries. While I'm sure the pair would have loved gifts, they love publicity more, so this is a smart move. Plus, people will probably give them baby gifts anyway...and if the public doesn't know, it doesn't count, right?

Bethenny Frankel really thought she'd have an easy divorce, which sounds mildly ridiculous considering that she demanded full custody of her daughter, money, medical benefits and other madness. Maybe if Bethenny would share, or at least be reasonable, this would work out a bit more smoothly. Just sayin'. I do feel for her, Jason Hoppy and daughter Bryn because this situation must be tough for everyone, but both Bethenny and Jason need to give a little if they're looking for a resolution.

More rumors about Joe Guidice cheating on Teresa Giudice have surfaced. I'm not sure if this surprises anyone, but it probably shouldn't at this point. He was again spotted in a restaurant with reported mistress Davana Medina. I truly do feel bad for Teresa at this point - whether or not Joe and Teresa are being, um, intimate, it's probably not great that Joe's spotted out with he while she sports a miniskirt and the pair flirts in a corner of a restaurant. I genuinely can't see Teresa walking away from the marriage, but I hope she is finding happiness within herself, at least!