Sunday, September 2, 2012

Real Housewives Songs: Who Did It Worst?

While watching The Real Housewives series on Bravo used to be one of my favorite activities, I now find myself drawn to the drama that happens off the shows, like in the news and on the music charts. In this article, I'll list some of the songs sung by The Real Housewives, and I want you to weigh in on which song you think is the worst.

Michaele Salahi - Bump It: This song did not to well, and I can see why. It sounds like Michaele is growling into the microphone about being an animal or something like that. It fits her personality well - gruff and unrefined - but most people don't like her personality, which explains why they also wouldn't like her music.

Luann De Lesseps - Money Can't Buy You Class: Money may not buy class, but it also doesn't buy Luann a good song. The song was super gimmicky and ridiculous - and while it was fun to listen to for the "WTF" factor, once that passes, this song goes into the same category of Rebecca Black's Friday - a song we used to laugh about. On top of that, it's not like Countess Luann had another song to redeeem herself - Chic C'est La Vie was just as bad.

Melissa Gorga - On Display: This song definitely isn't the worst in the bunch, but I personally find it annoying because Melissa's complaining about how people are waiting for her to fall, yet she's the one who thrust her way into the spotlight. When you fight as hard as she did to become a celebrity, it's not really fair to complain about how awful the situation is. That being said, Melissa's song Rockstar is a bit catchier, and in that song, you can hear that she can sing at least somewhat well.

Kim Zolciak - Tardy for the Party: As much as it pains me to admit this, this song was stuck in my head for a while. This was due in party to Kandi Burruss' talent in creating the song. All Kim did was step up to a microphone and allow her voice to be autotuned. On the flip side, any credit I gave Kim was gone once I heard her song Google Me, as it was incredibly awful.

Kandi Burruss - Fly Above: While this song isn't my style, it's pretty decent. I can see why people like it. It's legitimately a song, not a novelty track made to boost the star power of a Real Housewife.

Gretchen Rossi - Nothing Without You: I'm a Gretchen fan, so it pains me to have to say that I can't stand her songs. Nothing Without You is probably good if you want to fall asleep from boredom, Revelation is an autotuned mess and Unbreakable just isn't good. Sorry, Gretchen!

Danielle Staub - Real Close: This song isn't completely tragic, probably due in part to Lori Michaels' talent. However, the dance mix is a hot mess. Like, the kind of mess that you come home to and dread cleaning up because it's beyond awful.

Simon van Kempen - I Am Real: This song reminds me of something I'd hear...well, never. The beat vaguely resembles songs you might hear in a goth dance club, but the lyrics undo any resemblance and make the song kind of a joke. Not to mention that Simon must not know the difference between talking and singing, as he spends a chunk of this song talking to the microphone. Also, the lyrics are beyond ridiculous.

Dana Wilkey - 25,000: Now that I've listened to all of the songs noted above, my perspective may be skewed, but Dana Wilkey's song with Skullee doesn't sound so bad. Its intention is to make fun of her $25,000 sunglasses, so as long as she's messing around with this song and not being serious, it's not too tragic.

Want to hear any of the songs listed above? The links are below. Enjoy!

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