I thought it was over-the-top and gross when Lady Gaga wore a meat dress, but it was just sick when a pageant kid wore meat on this week's Toddlers and Tiaras. However, the pageant director did say moms go over the top for this pageant, so what did I expect?
The first girl we met this week was Alana, 6, daughter of June, an extreme couponer. Mom said they've spent between eight and nine thousand dollars on pageants, but have saved that much with coupons so it doesn't matter. If you're into coupons, you'll like June's stockpile - it's big but not crazy. For example, they may never run out of deoderant, but they'll certainly use all the laundry detergent at some point! Alana's full of spunky attitude and seems to genuinely enjoy pageants.
Second was Laci, 8, and mom Alicia. Laci was sassy, and mom said she flip-flops between being an angel and a crazy person. No matter what, though, Laci can be bribed with chocolate. Laci also has two sides to herself - pageant girl and country girl. She wants to win a pageant and hunt for a deer, all in the same week.
Mom Brooklyn and daughter Heaven, 6, were next. Heaven had been bumped up an age level for this pageant, so she'd be competing against older girls, whereas she was previously one of the older girls in her division. I give mom credit because she won't give Heaven energy drinks. She thinks Heaven's too young, and I agree. Red Bull can't be good for a six year old!
Alana went first in beauty, and that girl absolutely transformed in her beauty wear. She did a fantastic job onstage, but didn't show her belly like mom wanted her to. I don't blame her, honestly! Heaven was next. One of the judges said they enjoyed watching Heaven because of her bubbly personality. I agree, but her smile seemed very fake.
Laci was third in beauty, and in typical Toddlers and Tiaras drama, she couldn't be found when her division was about to begin. As it turns out, Laci was outside with her grandmother. It turns out that she wanted to tell her grandma that she wants her mom to back off. Laci did make it onstage on time, and she was awesome. Her smile looked very real and her movements were polished but not stiff. Judge Amanda agreed, saying that Laci stands out and has good facial beauty.
Outfit of Choice was next. Alana led the way in a Western Wear type outfit. She did something where she opens her mouth wide during her dance. That looked really weird, although the rest of her routine was good and she looked like she was having fun. Heaven was Pinocchio for Outfit of Choice. It was adorable and creative. She got a bit tied up in her strings and velcro, but she recovered well and continued her routine like a pro.
Third was Laci. Her mom's goal was to wear the judges, so mom tried to dress Laci up in a Lady Gaga-style outfit - a meat bikini. Fortunately or unfortunately, there was no time to make the meat bikini, so Laci got out of wearing it onstage. Still, Laci was late, and a judge noted that the lateness would cost her points. Laci finally made it out, and pretty much immediately fell out of her Lady Gaga egg. I have to say - I wasn't feeling Laci's performance. She held the microphone too close to her face, she was off her game and her outfit was a bit skimpy for a girl her age.
4 - 6 Division
Runner up: Alana (Her mom actually called this, stating that Heaven might beat Alana. Mom was happy for Alana's placement, which was refreshing - she was actually happy for her daughter, not angry that she didn't win it all. Go, mom!)
8 - 9 Division
First runner up: Caroline
Beauty Supreme: Kaylee
Personality Supreme: Laci
Mini Supreme: Heaven
Grand Supreme: Jayla
This week's episode of Toddlers and Tiaras wasn't too bad for bad names. The two weird names that I heard were Chesney (it is the country, right?) and Claiborne. I'm not a huge fan of Chesney, but I can understand it if her parents really liked Kenny Chesney or something. But Claiborne? I'm really not feeling that.