Friday, August 5, 2011

Yesterday was JERZDAY. To-oday is Friday. We, we, we so excited...

Due to pure exhaustion, I couldn't stay up to watch Jersey Shore last night, so I'm recapping it today. Which, coincidentally, allows me to use the cheesy subject line that I used for this post.

While I couldn't catch the original airing of Jersey Shore's season four premiere, apparently 8.8 million people stayed awake to watch it.

This season of Jersey Shore brought us to Italy, which represents the ethnicity of most of the cast members. Snooki, who is adopted, is actually the exception, although with the exception of The Situation, she's most into her self described Guido / Guidette roots.

Right at the beginning of the episode, we were reminded of why we love Vinny. He said he was excited to go to Italy to master the language and meet a real Italian girl. It wasn't about smooshing or buying eyelashes (per Snooki)...it was about real Italian culture. Vinny was so excited to land in Florence that he touched the ground and let us know that he loved breathing in the Italian air. The other girls were less concerned with that, and were more focused on getting to the house before the girls did.

At this point, Snooki was dating a guy named Jionni, who was nervous about her being around Vinny. She assured him that Vinny wouldn't be a problem, which seems to be true so far - he should have been more concerned about The Situation. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino said he'd bang Snooki if she lost the weight that she claimed she did. When Deena talked to Mike about Snooki being single (Mike thinking she was, Deena saying that she isn't) Mike said he didn't think things with Snooki and her boyfriend would work out. It seemed to Deena that Mike was planning to smoosh Snooki during their stay in Italy. The situation with The Situation got worse when he said that he'd hooked up with Snooki two or three months before this taped, although nobody knew it - while she had the boyfriend. (Nice move, Mike - this was clearly a game to get the word out to all of America and beyond.) He made a big deal about Ronnie not telling anyone, which is a bit ridiculous being that this is on national television. During the end of show previews, we learn that Mike causes fights, and it seems like he even manages to break up Snooki and Jionni. (This apparently doesn't last, as Snooki has said that she thinks she'll marry Jionni.)

Snooki also brought like, fifteen bags with her to Italy, which probably outweighed Pauly's, J-Woww's and Vinny's combined. Actually, maybe not J-Woww's - she was carrying nine cans of bronzer at the beginning of the trip to Italy.

Jenni, who is still dating Roger, assured us that she wouldn't cheat, but she thinks that they don't make six foot tall, tattooed juiceheads over there.

Ronnie and Sammi were not together during this episode, but we'll see where the season takes us. They both said that they don't want Sammi-and-Ronnie drama, nor do they want to sulk. That being said, Sammi noticed that Ronnie looked good when she saw him, and his first thought was about her boobs. Ahh, the difference between men and women. It was speculated that Ronnie would try to sleep with Sammi, but Sammi said she wouldn't be going for it.

Deena made her first appearance as exuberantly as ever. The girl was clearly excited for her second round on Jersey Shore. Then, she fell and dropped stuff and had a rough time transporting her luggage through the Italian airport.

The cast arrived at the Italian Jersey Shore house.

The boys made it first, and got first choice of rooms. The place was amazing. They loved it. My first thought was that there were two flights of stairs from the entrance to the house, so at some point, someone will be too drunk to make it up the stairs...or drunk enough to trip down them.

The Situation and Ronnie picked the room with two beds, and Vinny and Pauly snagged a room with three. Deena snagged the third bed in Vinny and Pauly's room. I think that means that Sammi, Smooki and J-Woww shared the remaining room.

The first crisis occurred when a hair dryer died due to voltage issues. It was fixed, but it seriously seemed like everyone's lives were turned upside down at this news. The upset continued when Snooki's hair straightener wouldn't work. Apparently, the hair straighteners were running too hot, because one of them burned off Deena's hair.

The cast immediately began drinking and then proceeded to party. The next morning, the castmates woke up so they wouldn't waste time in Italy - and that included figuring out how to read the map and finding places to GTL. At this point, we learned that Snooki was the only girl in the house who can drive stick, and therefore would be the only female driver. The other girls did not seem to be thrilled. (With good reason, of course, as we later learn that she crashed the Jersey Shore car into a police car.)

Later, the girls got lost trying to navigate Italy, followed by freaking out about a bird flying too close to them. Soon after, Snooki let us know that if she doesn't work out, she wants to hurt people. I think it will be in the best interest of all of the housemates to let her complete her workout.

Vinny said that although she's got a body, Deena's just one of the guys. It'll be interesting to see how this thought evolves during the season. Or, we'll see how it doesn't - maybe Deena will try to get with one of the guys and he'll turn her down. Already in this episode, she tried to get with Pauly, making out with him in a really appalling tongue-on-tongue kind of way.

It seems like this will be an interesting season of Jersey Shore. The guys immediately found hot Italian girls, the girls already had hair drama and the translations all had to go through Vinnie. Should be fun!

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