Friday, September 3, 2010

Starting the Weekend With Some Snark: I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant

I still can't believe the show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" exists. For the sake of society, it should be replaced with a program called, "Ways to Realize That You're Pregnant So We Don't Have to Have Shows Talking About How People Carried Babies for Nine Months Without Realizing They Were Pregnant." Because, seriously, how do you not know that you're pregnant?

I realize I'm being a bit harsh here. One woman featured on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" had multiple sclerosis and lost feeling in most of her body. You know what? I believe she wouldn't know she was pregnant because she couldn't feel the kicking or anything. This one seems legit.

However, I have more trouble accepting the episodes where people say things like, "I stopped getting my period but I thought I was just exercising more or something." Really? For nine months, you gained weight, threw up and stopped getting your period, but didn't take the hint?

Maybe I'm just a cynic because I'm one of those people who is always worried about being pregnant, but people have amazing ways of justifying their beliefs of not being pregnant when they want to do so. "I was just depressed and getting fat and I felt queasy and had diarrhea and barfed my brains out and had lots of lots of reckless sex...but really? Me? Pregnant? NO WAY!" Sorry, I think that people maybe had an idea but totally blocked it out as not to face it, which quickly flies out the door as a baby falls out of your "area."

I'll openly admit that I've never had a baby, but this blog makes it pretty abundantly clear that the nine months of having a living creature growing like a parasite inside of you does not equal feeling like you have to poop. You know, unless when you have to poop, the sensation makes you fat for nine months, kicks you constantly from the inside of your stomach and makes you puke your brains out for five months at a time. Just saying.

Looking for a parody of modern pregnancy television? Check out Remote Patrolled's I Didn't Know I Was 16 and Pregnant.

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